I have written two posts on douchey ways to end a relationship. Thanks to a segment on the radio today about breaking up, here's my third installment on the subject.
The first way involved someone posting a link to Kelly Clarkson's "Already Gone" on their partner's Facebook profile (I love Kelly Clarkson, but I wouldn't use her to break up with someone). This was a short and deeply unkind split, with unhappy emoticons and unfriending — on and offline — being the consequences. Yes, this is another break up over the Internet, but it's important for reasons that I'll expand upon later.
The second resembled the first in that it used music: it involved a woman singing Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" down the phone to her boyfriend, thereby ending their relationship. I have a modicum of respect for the creativity of this one, but it was wrong for two reasons: 1. the breakup wasn't done face-to-face, but if he was a jerk then this is irrelevant. 2. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" isn't even about breaking up...it's about not wanting to get back together, hence the name! I do understand the message, though.
I will grant the third one the honour of being clever, but it was still douchey. The person told their partner that their exes were beautiful; the bemused partner asked "Which one?", only to be told "Me!". It was done over the telephone.
The consensus on the segment was that the best method to end a relationship was over the Internet, which angered me. What is it with these people who think breaking up with someone over the Internet is acceptable? I hope in every one of these cases the relationship wasn't serious: I think it would be disgusting and cowardly to end a deep relationship in such a manner. In be fair, the people contacting the programme were all young (in their teens), so I'm hoping it was a case of collective youthful ignorance and that they will all mature.
Coincidentally, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" played at one point while I was writing this.